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BubbleTea!
Monday, October 26, 2009
I haven't blogged in a long long time. So here we go. I'm into week 8 of university. Yeah, 2 months fly by that fast. Midterms are here, and I'm falling behind(no matter how hard I study). The irony is that the more I study, the more I find myself behind. Weird eh? These two months has been a total zombie walk(suitable for halloween eh eh?) I'm tired, eyebags are huge and obvious(with my oh-so-pale skin) and I absolutely hate wearing contacts now. Somehow, my eyes have found a way to reject my contacts and they keep threatening to fall out. My solution? I'm getting new glasses/specatcles(whatever you call it). Thick plastic frames, yes. I would look like a nerd(loving it). I guess Eloise will be back to be that bespectacled girl you all know and love:D I hope. Haha. I'm just kidding. Let us go back to the main point. I'm tired/weary/exhausted/zombified. Yet, I still absolutely adore university. Somehow, if makes me feel that I'm in control of at least one part of my life. At least one part eh? We're not getting any younger. Ha. Childhood is almost over people! I'm getting incoherent. Yes :D oh joy! I have 3 more classes to go, where I'll most probably fall asleep in 1 of them. Then, I'll reach home at 630pm. I'll sleep until 8pm. Then commence studying!(Commence is a really really nice word!) I saw you on 17th October 2009. You said hi. Thank you. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 1:33 PM
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tell me, why do I even feel guilty about everything? Its not like a need this right now, neither do you. Everything is crumbling down, once again. Yes yes, the word is again. 6 months have been a long time, but time flies. (We all know that). So, why am I even feeling guilty? The silence is becoming normal. The lack of interest doesn't bother me anymore. But, I still care. You know I do, no matter what. Though you may say the same. I honestly doubt it. I'm doubting my decision all over again. I'm suffocating here, why don't you give me some space? Your constant nagging, and unreasonable actions are driving me to the corner. I have no where to turn to anymore. Away are the friends to talk to, away with the sibling who no longer lives at home, away with studies that are engulfing every single person I know. So, what am I left with? Please leave me alone. I want to scream out loud, but you're under the same roof and I"ll be just inviting trouble for myself. I don't care about the broken promises you made to me, the crazy mood swings you have or the fact that I'm not the girl I was in Singapore. I have turned way pessimistic, and have grown a brain of my own to question the orders in my life. Do you know how much I want to get out of this piece of shite, but where can I go? I really have no idea. So please, I beg you. Go! In your eyes, I'm the one who is always wrong(the scapegoat). I'm the one who is immature, I'm the one who doesn't have the consideration to think for others, I'm the one who is rude and selfish, I'm the one who has all the problems. Don't you think its pot calling the kettle black? Maybe I am all these, but remember that my environment is what that shaped me. Why can't YOU think of the future, that maybe your direction with wrong? Please know that, I'm no longer the little girl that has to eat whenever you guys eat. That I"m no longer the little girl that would do whatever you say. And I'm not the one being irresponsible here. I give up. Please treat me, and yourself with some respect. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 7:17 PM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
 I enjoyed 101009, though it wasn't technically my clique
(Your name here) wasted his/her time at 12:42 AM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
 I was bored. Am still bored though.
(Your name here) wasted his/her time at 6:36 PM
yes
Monday, September 28, 2009
I don't even know why I"m doing this. Yes, I started school. Yes, I'm dying(without much sleep). Yes, I don't really care anymore. Yes, I met new friends. Yes, I'm reading about black slavery. Yes, I like my courses in school. Yes, I joined the Singapore Club in UBC. Yes, I like talking to dottyy and dev in the mornings. Yes, I am crazy over seaweed and ribena. Yes, I saw a cute guy in SFU. Yes, I'm still single. Yes, I bought a new wallet. Yes, I'm currently reading an article named "Introduction to Slave Narratives". Yes, my english TA is most probably GAY. Yes, Lemche sucks. Yes, my hair is long. Yes, I changed my dressing styles. Yes, I would like to win the lottery so so so much. Yes, I would LOVE to stay on campus. Yes, I wish I would stop being so depressed. Yes, I wish I had 48 hours in 1 day.(So I can go to school 8 hours, spend 5 hours traveling, have 12 hours of sleep and the rest for studying) Yes, I want to go shopping.(I'm dying here without shopping) Yes, I don't feel like coming back next year anymore. Yes, I don't care about what's happening. Yes, I need to read more of the newspaper. Yes, I have bitches for friends. Yes, I have become more vulgar. Yes, I don't really care. Yes, I know a little about the middle passage, transatlantic trade. Yes, I want to move out. Yes, I want to stop being emo. Yes, I want to have wings to fly to school. Yes, the snow is coming(I HATE THE SNOW). Yes, I miss my friends. Yes, its so numb now it doesn't really matter. Yes, I hate you. Yes, you broke my heart. Yes, I can't believe i cried because of you. Yes, your promises are bullshite. Yes, every single one(of promises and you). Yes, I wish you were less irresponsible. Yes, maybe you're right(I don't know). Yes, I wish you were the one worrying, not me. Yes, I wish you would take the job. Yes, I want you to take the job. Yes, i really want to win the lottery. Yes I'm studying anthropology now. Yes, the dinosaur part, isn't part of archeology. Yes, I am a chica. Yes, I am dog sitting. Yes, I still wish to win the lottery. Yes, I suspect I'm bipolar(kidding). Yes, I want to get into law school(probably?) Yes, I can't stand your twofaced-ness. Yes, I'm going out for a birthday dinner later today. Yes, there is something called forensic anthropology. Yes, you are irritating the shite ouf of me. Yes, I can't stand two faced bitches. Yes, I really really don't feel like coming back in 2010 anymore. Yes, I'm that nice. Yes, I"m different. And... No, I didn't think I would be jealous of that. Oh eloise, you're such a jealous bitch. Well, all the Yes, .... are all bullshite. We need a contrast in life. After all the Yes.,... you guys would notice the NO,.... Don't you get it? We need contrast in life. But I guess youguys don't. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 12:51 AM
jaded
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Honestly, the lack of sleep is sucking the life out of me. Yes, including my patience, compassion and everything else. I know I say this often, that I don't really care anymore. But this time, I am so tired(mentally and physically), I don't give a crap. Everything's over, period. We have no one to blame, but ourselves. But don't look at me. Like what I say, the exhaustion, is draining all my emotions, thoughts and perhaps logic. I need my logic to study. Gosh. Maybe we all need the enlightenment. Stop being slaves to our self incurred immaturity. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 12:03 AM
start of something new? Tsk.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The beginning of something, is always the ending of something else. So, the beginning of university. And the end of everything else. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 12:21 AM
whats wrong?
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I can't believe that I no longer know you. To think we were so close last time. Camwhoring, teasing, meals, movie-ing... I don't know. Among the 6 of us, I don't know what's left. I know you said that you guys may not know me anymore, but you guys will still love me. I don't ever deny that. But... you know what I mean. I doubt even you guys knows this blog exist. Now you call me your childhood friend, random friend, prolly ex best friend. I don't know whats next. We were known as a clique. All of us. It was usually the 8 of us. And occasional random people joining us. But whats happened? Somehow, there's this numbness filling my heart. I can't believe I used to cry over these stuff. Whats wrong with me I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST TYPED. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 1:10 AM
massive apologetic tears
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
): More sad face. The sudden increase of confused emotions. The massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. massive apologetic tears. No matter how many times I type this, it wouldn't show how I feel. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 2:21 AM
mentally incapable
Sad Face:( That's what I've been saying recently. Why? Yeah, I have no idea. Maybe life stinks, for all you know right? What would anyone know? That's not the point. This phrase has been thrown around numerously. I guess it has probably lost its meaning. It doesn't mean anything anymore. Not the point again. Emotions. Broad topic, I know! It can be both a servant, and a master. Being happy(I should actually use the word ecstatic) and being sad(or the word desolated)/angry(livid) are two totally different things. Often they are the motive. Yes, they cause you to do things unimagined. They may lead to wonderful endings, or disastrous disputes. So why do we still do it? Because we're crazy beings. Deal with it. We are. I've learnt to hold my tongue, I"m not ready for anything anymore. Yes, both the drama and the happy ending. Sometimes its simply too much to handle. I no longer have the mental capacity to respond. Maybe I"ll just break down, or I'll embrace it. We wouldn't know. All I know, is that I'm tired. Of listening to bullshite. To lies and empty promises. Don't throw anything in my direction unless you'll be there to walk through with me, until you're certain I'm able to be back to normal. This is all gibberish. Whatever. I"m sick and tired of everything. (Your name here) wasted his/her time at 12:46 AM
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"I sense aspiration, yearning, striving to be accepted. Then I sense this appealing counter note of sincerity ... This is the story of a young girl who is enjoying her first taste of the spoils of dirty oil. It's perfect."
- Chuck Bass/Gossip GirlEloise Lee, UBC Credits This layout was made by Deathcab★ with the help of hokairotciv's basecodes, an icon by thebikiniboy and inspiration from wordboner. All rights reserved. |
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